When looking at the relationship between Yaakov and Eisav, or perhaps more accurately at Eisav himself, we see two character traits which are at the core of who Eisav is: קנאה and כעס – jealousy and anger.

We know that Eisav was a murderous personality, he was a hunter, a “man of the field” and Yitzchak best sums him up with the expression, “ועל-חרבך תחיה – and through the sword you will live”. This murderous nature, in fact the idea of murder and killing in general, stems directly from the character trait of jealousy. We see this from the first instance of murder in the Torah (and in all of history), the story of Kain and Hevel. Kain is jealous of Hevel and so he kills him, in fact Kain’s name itself, קין, stems from the same root as the word jealousy in Hebrew, קנאה.

When we picture Eisav, we always envision him as large, hairy, reddish man, this is because the Torah itself describes him this way (Breishit 25:25):

ויצא הראשון אדמוני, כלו כאדרת שער; ויקראו שמו, עשו
…and the first one was born, he was reddish, covered in hair, and he was named Eisav.

The Torah doesn’t give usually give us physical descriptions unless they are coming to teach us something. The description of Eisav as being “reddish” exemplifies both his attachment to blood (as explained above) and his anger. As we know, when people get angry, they often turn bright red – getting angry is even often described as “seeing red” – there is a clear connection between redness and anger.

These two traits, I feel, are most dramatically expressed when Eisav realizes that Yaakov has taken the Brachot from Yitzchak instead of himself (Breishit 27:34),

כשמע עשו, את-דברי אביו, ויצעק צעקה, גדלה ומרה עד-מאד; ויאמר לאביו, ברכני גם-אני אבי.
When Eisav heard the words of his father, he screamed out an extremely great and powerful scream; he then said to his father, “Bless me also, my father.”

The language of the pasuk is so striking. The description of Eisav’s scream is immense, גדלה ומרה עד-מאד, the Torah uses three distinct adjectives to impress upon us the greatness of this scream. This over-the-top language shows us the significance of the the scream, Eisav screamed with all his might and it was a scream that emanated from his core. The scream is clearly an indication of Eisav’s anger, which stems from his jealousy.

At this moment, even Yitzchak sees the anger and jealousy that is at Eisav’s core. The pasuk tells us that Yitzchak trembled tremendously when he realizes that Yaakov had taken the bracha from Eisav. Rashi explains that he trembled because “ראה גיהנם פתוחה מתחתיו – he saw gehinom open up beneath Eisav” the Gemara in Nedraim (22a) relates the concept of gehinom to one who becomes angry:

אמר רבי שמואל בר נחמני אמר רבי יונתן כל הכועס כל מיני גיהנם שולטין בו
Rabbi Shmuel the son of Nachmani said in the name of Rabbi Yonatan, “Anyone who gets angry, all types of gehinom flare up on him.”

This is what Yitzchak saw which caused him to tremble, the impending anger of Eisav. Literally, he saw that all hell was about to break loose. Indeed the psukim which follow tell us that because of Eisav’s anger, he planned to kill Yaakov.

Clearly, these two traits are very destructive. So much so that Pirkei Avot (4:21) tell us:

רבי אליעזר הקפר אומר, הקנאה והתאווה והכבוד, מוציאין את האדם מן העולם
Rabbi Eliezer Ha’Kafar said, “Jealousy, desire, and honor remove a person from this world.”

A person who is constantly looking at what other people have, or who is constantly thinking about how great he is, doesn’t have a life. He (or she) is a loser. What kind of life is it to be constantly thinking about what others have and how much you wish you had whatever it is that they have? What kind of life is it to live in a state of disillusionment about your own greatness, thinking you are better or more deserving than everybody else? A person who focuses on those things has no life. The are “removed from the world”.

So, how can we counter these traits? How can we focus on living an actual life, as we have discussed in the past, of caring about others, being a giver, and therefore emulating Hashem? How can we be ‘a part of this world’ and as opposed to being ‘removed from it’?

Well, let’s look at the opposite of Eisav, his brother, Yaakov.

Yaakov is described (Breishit 25:27) as an “איש תם, ישב אהלים – a wholesome man, who sat in tents”, this is as opposed to his brother, Eisav, who is described as “איש ידע ציד, איש שדה – a man who knows about trapping, a man of the field”. Clearly these two descriptions are contrasting the natures of the two twins. Yaakov is called “ישב אהלים – one who sits in tents” and Eisav is “איש שדה – a man of the field” – a clear contrast. But, what about the other description, how does being an “איש תם – wholesome person” contrast with being “איש ידע ציד – person who knows about trapping”. Rashi on the next pasuk gives us a deeper understanding of what is meant by “trapping”, he explains:

בפיו של עשו שהיה צד אותו ומרמהו בדבריו
…by using his mouth, Eisav would entrap his father and deceive him with his words

Eisav’s contrast with Yaakov is his usage of his mouth and his words. Yaakov is an “איש תם – wholesome person” because he, as opposed to Eisav, has a certain refinement in his speech. We see this later on, when Yitzchak is attempting to identify which son is standing in front of him, he says:

הקל קול יעקב, והידים, ידי עשו
The voice is the voice of Yaakov, but the hands are the hand of Eisav

Yitzchak is revealing to us a defining trait of Yaakov, his voice and manner of speech.

This trait is in direct contrast with Eisav’s anger. As we saw above, Eisav’s anger is exemplified in his scream. His anger is a direct result of his jealousy and his outlook of being the most important thing in the world. The Ramban in his Iggeret – a spiritual will to his children and the entire Jewish nation – lays out this whole sequence in beautiful clarity

תתנהג תמיד לדבר כל דבריך בנחת לכל אדם ובכל עת, ובזה תנצל מן הכעס, שהיא מדה רעה להחטיא בני אדם…וכאשר תנצל מן הכעס תעלה על לבך מדת הענוה שהיא מדה טובה מכל המדות טובות
All your words should be spoken calmly, speak this way to every person and at every moment, and through speaking this way you will be saved from anger, which is a terrible trait that causes people to sin…and once you are saved from anger the trait of humility will come onto your heart, which is the best trait of all the good traits.

As the Ramban explains if you remove anger from yourself, you will almost automatically be a more humble person. Why is this so? Humility is the opposite of כבוד – כבוד is exemplified by a person who looks at themselves as being great, more deserving, or above other people. And, as we explained, this attitude of כבוד is what leads a person to anger and eventually, even a murderous nature. It follows that if one removes anger in a real way, it is a sign that he is conquering his drive for כבוד and therefore will almost automatically be a more humble person.

It is clear that jealousy and the drive for כבוד are closely related. You might even call them “partner traits” because jealousy leads to the drive for כבוד and the drive for כבוד leads to jealousy. For example, if a person sees himself as being greater than others (כבוד), it follows that he will be jealous of what they have saying, “Why should this fool have a nice car? I am more awesome than him!” The opposite is also true, if a person is jealous of everyone around him, it will lead him to think that he is greater than them (כבוד).

Now, on the flip side, the more humble we become the less jealousy has a hold over us. Once we see ourselves as equal to or less than others, the more we will see the good in other and we will no longer be jealous of what they have. We will find ourselves saying, “He deserves to have that car because he is awesome!” The opposite is true here as well, the more we see the good in others, the more humble we will become.

This is why Yaakov is called an איש תם – wholesome person, because through his calm and peaceful manner of speech he was able to attain this trait of humility. But where does Yaakov get this from? Where does it start? How does he have the ability to be a wholesome person by speaking calmly and being humble?

As we outlined above, the “partner trait” of humility is seeing the good in others, or as the Sfat Emet calls it (based on Pirkei Avot 5:19) “עין טובה – a good eye”. Pirkei Avot tells us that this trait of having a “good eye” or seeing the good in others is a trait associated with Avraham. The Kli Yakar tells us that this is what Avaraham was searching for in a wife for his son, Yitzchak, and exactly what he found in Rivkah. The Kli Yakar explains that her immediate drive to help others and to even bring water for the camels was a sign that she was both humble and saw the good in others. These are the traits that Avaraham was looking for and the traits that are exemplified in Rivkah.

Rivkah taught and passed these traits on to her son, Yaakov. This is why the Torah juxtaposes Yaakov and Eisav in the following manner (Breishit 27:5-6):

…ורבקה שמעת–בדבר יצחק, אל-עשו בנו…ורבקה, אמרה, אל-יעקב בנה…
…and Rivkah heard what Yitzchak said to Eisav, his son, and then Rivkah said to Yaakov, her son…

The Torah is emphasizing that Yaakov was the son of Rivkah in this area, that he exemplified this trait like she did. This is also why the Torah tell us:

ויאהב יצחק את-עשו…ורבקה, אהבת את-יעקב
And Yitzchak loved Eisav…and Rivkah loved Yaakov

She loved him because of the fact that she gave him this trait.

This is where Yaakov’s ability to be an איש תם gets its start. He has received the ability to counter Eisav’s jealousy from his mother and grandfather through this trait of עין טובה.

The Yaabetz explains that our two mishnayot in Avot are connected in this exact way. The first mishna (4:21) we mentioned mentions 3 traits which remove a person from the world: “הקנאה והתאווה והכבוד – jealousy, desire, and honor” and the second mishna mentions 3 traits as well, “עין טובה, ונפש שפלה, ורוח נמוכה – a good eye, humble spirit, and a lowly soul”. The Yaabetz explains that the 3 traits of each mishna correspond to one another – each trait of the second mishna act as an antidote to those of the first. Jealousy is countered by a good eye, honor is countered by a humble spirit, and desire is countered by a lowly soul.

This is the secret to avoiding the traits of Eisav, the traits of anger and jealousy which ‘remove us from this world’, can drive us to the lowest levels and and ultimately destroy us. By looking at the good in others and seeing the positive in another person, as opposed to the negative, we can truly develop ourselves into the איש תם – wholesome person of Yaakov Avinu and truly live life and build life (as opposed to being removed from this life and destroying it).

We must always remember that no outside force can destroy us, the only thing that will destroy us is if we fall to the level of Eisav instead of rising to the level of Yaakov. In fact, these traits of jealousy, honor and anger are the traits which have brought about the greatest destruction in all of our history. (see Gittin 55b-56a)

Remember, always see the good in others, speak calmly, and focus on what you can give to others rather than what you want from them. Let’s all get to the level of Yaakov, both individually and as a people, and may we see all the destruction which has come about through the traits of Eisav be repaired through the traits of Yaakov.

 

For those of you who don’t understand the title: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Big_Stick_ideology