There is a news story that has been circulating online recently about a Rabbi from Connecticut named Noah Muroff, who purchased a desk on Craigslist for $150. When it wouldn’t fit through the door to his house he took it apart, only to find $98,000 in cash stuffed behind one of the drawers. He immediately contacted the owner and returned the money.

Now, I know that we all think that we would do the same thing…but what would our reaction really be? What gives a person the emotional, spiritual and personal fortitude to do something like that. Integrity aside, it takes a tremendous amount of something to be able to hand back nearly $100,000 in cash. Even if many of us feel we would return the money, how many of us would “at least ask the Rabbi for a psak” – Rabbi Muroff didn’t. He just got back in his car and brought it back. What gives a person that kind of strength?

In Man’s Search for Meaning, Victor Frankl, an Austrian psychologist who survived the Holocaust, presents his observations on life in the concentration camps from a psychological perspective. One such observation is the idea that as long as a person has a sense of real meaning, he can withstand nearly anything, but if a person doesn’t have that internal sense, he can barely withstand anything. In the introduction to the book he tells the story of a famous and accomplished Jewish doctor who was living in Germany before World War II. In the early days of the war, he was called into the office a prominent Nazi and asked to bring with him all of his credentials and documents of accomplishments. Perhaps thinking that he was going to be saved, given a pass because of his high stature and level of achievement, he went, bringing with him his many diplomas, awards and commendations. When he arrived, the Nazi took all his paperwork, stacked it neatly on his desk, and lit it on fire. He looked at the Doctor and said, “Now, what do you have?”. The doctor was sent to the camps where he died days later, not from starvation or disease, but from his own brokenness.

When all our meaning is external, it can be taken from us. In the flash of a lighter or the blink of an eye all our meaning and purpose for living can be gone. Only if we develop a sense of real, internal meaning will we be able to hold on no matter what.

We see, this is exactly what happens with Yosef. Yosef goes from being a pratically a prince, his father’s favorite son with his fancy coat, living in the lap of luxury, when all of a sudden it is all taken away from him. His stripped of his coat, his father and everything he has, he goes from being a prince to being a slave. He is sent away, as far as he knows, never to see his father or his home ever again. He ends up in Egypt and sinks even lower, he is thrown in a prison with men who are sentenced to death. He has gone form the highest height to the lowest low. Yet, he is never broken and through a chain of amazing events he is able to regain his place as prince and favorite. He becomes the second in command of Egypt, favorite of the king, and certainly given many fancy coats…

Even at the lowest point in Yosef’s life, when he in prison, seemingly for the rest of his life, he still maintained his internal sense of meaning. We see his interactions with the other prisoners, he asks the baker and the cup-bearer, ” מדוע פניכם רעים היום – Why do you look sad today?” even at the lowest he cares about others and is concerned for what is bothering them. When asked to interpret the dreams, his response of, “הלוא לאלהים פתרנים – Isn’t it Hashem who interprets dreams?” He maintains his faith and his integrity even when everything has been taken away from him. When all his diplomas and achievements are in ashes Yosef is still Yosef. His meaning is internal.

This is what each of us need to do. We must make our meaning, our Judaism, internal. We need to become internal Jews, not external Jews. We need to let it become who we are regardless of what the external situation is. This is the ultimate expression of humanity, we don’t have full control of the situations we are in, but we do have full control over the way we respond. We need to realize that all those external expressions of who we are, why life matters, can be taken away in an instant and when we are left alone in the darkness we have to be satisfied with who we are – diplomas and fancy coats aside.

Now, I am not saying that a person shouldn’t strive to accomplish great things in life. I am not saying that diplomas and degrees and a good salary aren’t important. What I am saying is that none of those things will give us real meaning – none of those things can define who we are and why our life matters. Only if we make our Judaism and our meaning internal will really be able to define those terms.

Now, to get back to our question, “What gave Rabbi Muroff the strength to give back the money?” There is a story and a teaching from the Baal Shem Tov, the founder of Chassidut. He tells the story of someone on their way to perform a mitzvah, maybe on his way to shul or to visit a sick person. One the way, this guy runs into a friends, they chat, tell some jokes and have a great time chatting, but in the meantime he misses his chance to do that mitzvah. Before we do mitzvot, sometimes we don’t look at mitzvot as having great value. But, after a person does a mitzvah he wouldn’t sell it for a million dollars or more. Somehow, when a Jew does a mitzvah it goes from not having much value at all to being the most valuable thing in the world. Once we have an internal sense of meaning, a sense of the greatness of our relationship with Hashem, like Yosef did, we aren’t willing to trade that for anything. This is the secret to what gave Rabbi Muroff his strength. When you look at $98,000 on one side of the table and the opportunity to do what’s right on the other, there is no contest. If we have made our Judaism internal and we have real meaning, then all the money in the world and all the fancy coats won’t make a bit of difference.

$98,000 of no $98,000 if we are good people and we dedicated to Hashem that is what will last, what will keep us going, and what will ultimately give us the strength to overcome anything.

May we all have the strength of Rabbi Muroff to be able to so easily withstand and step-up in any situation. May we be zoche to make our Judaism and our meaning internal and not let it depend on all the external factors of our lives.